


Six Christmases

by milestogo2



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POV Second and Third Person, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 11:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8978098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milestogo2/pseuds/milestogo2
Summary: Six stages of Saeran's life.Major spoilers for Seven's route and secret endings.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas to my awesome friend Nikita!!!:D

**Christmas, Age 8**

Snow was the worst enemy of the Choi brothers. Not only did it chill the house to nearly unbearable temperatures, it meant that their mom was trapped at home with them all day.

At least it still provided some level of entertainment. Saeran poked his head out from behind the couch to see Saeyoung kneeling in front of the window, his chin resting against the ledge. Absentmindedly, he dragged his finger against the frost coating the bottom of the window, creating swirling patterns along the glass. 

“Saeyoung?” Saeran shuffled up to the window, his teeth chattering slightly. “What are you looking at? You can't let mom catch you close to the window.”

“Well, where is she?” Saeyoung asked. Saeran plopped down next to his brother.

“She's watching TV. I think she might fall asleep soon. Can you get me something to eat if she does?” he pleaded, his eyes wide.

“Alright,” Saeyoung huffed. “But don't spill anything like last time. It took her _so_ long to start leaving the fridge unlocked again.” Saeran ducked his head in embarrassment.

“I was counting the snowflakes,” Saeyoung went on. “I got all the way up to 1,349. But Saeran, look at this.” He jabbed his finger against the window. “There are all these cars parked on our street. And all the houses have lights on them. I think someone might be having a party!”

Saeran bit his lip, nervously craning his neck to check the foot of the staircase. “Then you _really_ shouldn't be so close to the window. What if someone sees you? Then Dad will find out and he’ll come and get us!”

Saeyoung lowered his head slightly to appease his brother. “Don't worry, no one’s close enough to the house to see me. It's too cold for anyone to go outside.” He swiped another finger along the edge of the glass, his eyes holding a weak spark of wonder. “I kind of like the snow.”

“I don’t,” Saeran said fretfully. “It makes the house too cold. What if I get sick again?” Saeyoung opened his mouth to reply, but he was interrupted by a booming voice.

“What are you two doing down there?” the twins’ mother yelled from her bedroom. Saeyoung toppled backwards in surprise and snapped the curtains shut, the gentle falling flakes disappearing from view. Saeran scrambled to his feet and tried to put as much distance between himself and the window as possible.

“Just talking, Mom,” Saeyoung called from the bottom of the staircase. He hurried over to the corner to join Saeran, whose breath was starting to cloud up around his skinny face.

“Hey, I think something happened like this last year during the winter, too. Maybe today’s a holiday or something.” Saeran furrowed his eyebrows doubtfully.

“Maybe. But it doesn't really matter. Mom wouldn't care even if it was one,” he pointed out. Saeyoung shrugged in resignation.

“Well, when we get out of here, I'll make sure to find out which holiday it is. Then we can celebrate together, alright?”

**Christmas, Age 13**

_12:31._ Saeyoung had said that he'd be home by 12:30, and Saeran was starting to feel a worm of anxiety inch its way into his stomach. He lingered within view of the front door, hurrying back to the dish-filled sink and picking up the sponge whenever his mom walked by him. _Where is he where is he where is he **where is he…?**_

There was no way he could have just… left. He'd never do that. They were all that each other had left in the world. Right? There was no possible—

“I got the bread,” a voice called from the doorway, a cold rush of dry air billowing into the house. Saeran felt himself shiver with relief as Saeyoung pulled off his snowy shoes, holding a grocery bag.

“You're home…!” Saeran exclaimed, but he quickly lowered his eyes and turned back to the dishes when his mother snatched the bag from Saeyoung and stalked off without a word.

Saeyoung glanced after her for a moment, saw that she had disappeared upstairs, and hurried over to Saeran.

“Guess what?” he said conspiratorially. “I found that today really _is_ a holiday—Christmas!”

“You mean, that sale that all the TV commercials talk about?” Saeran asked, confused. “I thought that was just another word for ‘winter’?”

“Nope,” Saeyoung told him, grinning. “It’s a religious day for the Catholics. The priest was saying something about the birth of their savior happening today a super long time ago. And get this—people celebrate by giving each other presents!”

He pulled out a slightly squished package from the inside of his coat. “The church had a big table filled with sweets that you could pick from. One of the nice ladies I know from there wrapped some stuff for us.”

Saeran’s stomach flipped with excitement, but he glanced again towards the stairs before daring to reach out for the package. “But… what if Mom finds out? What if she ties me up again? She's been in a bad mood lately…”

Saeyoung hastily unwrapped the package and shoved something soft and sweet into Saeran’s mouth. “Swallow it fast, then. See? No harm done,” he said as Saeran gulped in surprise, the unfamiliar sugary flavor still lingering in his mouth.

“That was really good,” Saeran said longingly. He looked reflexively towards the staircase, but their mom was nowhere to be seen. His shoulders sagged with relief. “Thank you, Saeyoung! Make sure you eat yours fast too,” he added, eyeing the remains of the package.

Saeyoung hesitated, then pressed the rest of the sweets into Saeran’s hands. “Here, you can have the rest. I already ate at church. You should go eat it in the bathroom so you can take your time and enjoy it.”

“Are you sure?” Saeran asked, his mouth already watering at the sight of the sweets’ sticky red frosting.

“Of course,” Saeyoung said, picking up the sponge from beside the sink and finishing the dishes. “Come on, hurry and eat it!”

“Maybe next time,” Saeran said quietly, stuffing the package into his pocket, “I’ll be able to go with you to church, and then we can eat together.”

**Christmas, Age 15**

“Don't you like the party?” Rika asked anxiously, peering into Saeran’s eyes.

Saeran fiddled with a loose thread hanging off of his sweater sleeve. “I do, thank you. It's just… I always thought that I'd be able to come here with Saeyoung. I just want to know where he is.”

Rika made a helpless expression. “I'm sorry, Saeran. I know you miss your brother so much. But please try to enjoy yourself today. This must be your first proper Christmas.” She turned to kiss V delicately on the cheek. “We both just want you to be happy.”

Saeran gazed around the church’s interior rather than replying. The domed ceiling was so grand that he felt dizzy just looking at it, and the inexplicably colorful windows were so breathtakingly beautiful that he almost wanted to cry. Though the formal service had already ended and the parishioners were laughing loudly beside tables of sweets, Saeran still felt as if he had to keep his voice to a reverent whisper.

“Thank you,” he said softly. Rika smiled warmly, and V tapped her on the shoulder.

“I'm going to go say thank you to the pastor, alright sweetheart?” Rika nodded and watched as he slid between the pews to the other side of the church. She turned to Saeran, crouching down slightly to meet his eyes.

“So how do you like the… you-know-what?” she whispered. Saeran brightened.

“I love it. Learning all the code is really hard, but I feel like I'm getting closer to Saeyoung every time I pick up the book. One day, I'm gonna find him using the internet.”

“Wonderful,” Rika exclaimed softly, glancing over her shoulder at V. She picked a fluffy cupcake up from the table and handed it to Saeran. “Don't worry, you'll be able to use your knowledge really soon. Then we can find your brother, okay?”

Saeran felt a flutter beneath his heart. “Thank you so much, Rika. I don't know what I'd ever do without you. You've been so good to me.” He started to carefully unwrap the cupcake, trying not to waste any frosting on his fingers.

“I’ve always wished that me and Saeyoung could one day spend a holiday together…”

**Christmas, Age 18**

“Savior…” Saeran bowed low and dropped to his knees. “I’d like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your thoughtful and generous gift.” In his hands, he clutched a small device displaying a simple switch. 

Rika smiled, smoothing her flowing robes with her hands. “Of course, Saeran. It's your first Christmas as an adult, after all, so I decided that you were finally ready for the responsibility.” Saeran stroked the metal device lovingly.

“Soon,” he said wistfully, “I’ll be able to end it all, if I can just get him to pay the apartment a visit. With this…” He raised his eyes to his savior’s, admiration flowing from every part of his body. “With this, I can exact justice on that _liar._ Thank you.”

“Use it wisely, now,” Rika cautioned, her lips still turned upwards into a smile. “Don't do anything without my permission. Of course, that won't pose any problems, since I want you to achieve justice as well. You know how deeply I care for you, Saeran.”

“Of course!” Saeran said, enraptured. “I thank you again and again and again, but it will never be enough. I never even dreamed of having an opportunity such as this one. Without you, I might still be pathetically chasing after that coward’s affection—just like a child. I'm no child, not anymore.”

“It’s the least I can do in payment for your talent,” Rika said. “Now, why don't you get back to work? The day will come before you know it.”

“Oh…yes, my savior.” Saeran slowly got to his feet and walked towards his office, cradling the detonator in his hands. But before he reached the doorway he hesitated, turning back to the robe-cladden figure. “But savior… you don't live in the apartment anymore, correct? There won't be any chance of this bomb hurting you?” 

Rika nodded affectionately. “Yes, of course I don't live there anymore. I couldn't risk my life like that when so many souls’ salvation depends on me. I appreciate your concern; it seems that you are just as responsible as I thought.” Her words sparked a fire of pride in Saeran, and he thanked her again as he continued to his office. He sat down in front of the sprawling wall of computer screens and let his eyes travel across the miles and miles of blinking green code.

_And to think, I used to daydream all the time about spending this day with him._ Saeran shook his head, squashing down the uncomfortable feeling starting to rise in his stomach. He clicked around the monitor until he found the CCTV looking into the apartment, its interior as unmoving as a dollhouse. 

“Next year, _Luciel,_ ” Saeran said under his breath, “we will spend Christmas together, I guarantee it. I’ll be happy to see you to paradise, you and the rest of your pathetic friends. _I’m_ the one with power now.” 

**Christmas, Age 21**

You stared curiously at Saeran’s bright red hair, a glass of eggnog in your hand. You’d never imagined that he'd be willing to match with his brother again, but perhaps he really was starting to forgive. It made you feel quite peaceful.

The twin was still cold and seclusive, but at least he’d started showing up to RFA events. You knew that at least half of the reason Jumin had decided to hold a Christmas party was to give Saeran a chance to bond a little more with the other members. Saeyoung was certainly happy about his brother’s appearance; he stayed diligently by his side and kept up a seemingly endless barrage of questions towards him in an effort to make him more comfortable.

Saeran lifted his head to look at you, apparently noticing your stare. You quickly looked away, a blush creeping into your cheeks. His eyes looked very soft, you noted. 

You entertained yourself for a few minutes by watching Zen chase Yoosung around the living room, angry after he'd stolen the bunch of mistletoe that Zen had placed hopefully in front of the doorway before your arrival. You were so amazed by his dogged pursuit—of both Yoosung and yourself—that at first you didn't notice Saeran shuffle over to your side.

“Oh, Saeran,” you said nervously, trying not to jump at his sudden entrance. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” he said quietly. He silently watched the chase beside you for a little while, and just when you were starting to squirm with awkwardness he sighed and turned around. “Can we go somewhere quiet, please?”

“Oh, we? You mean me too? I mean… of course!” You mentally slapped yourself, your face burning, and followed him down the hall into a spare bedroom. 

You sat down on one end of the bed and he perched precariously on the other. He looked the other way, picking at his sweater and occasionally running his hands through his hair.

You cleared your throat. “Is there something you wanted to talk about?”

“Not really,” he admitted. “I was just kind of… overwhelmed, I guess. I wanted to get away for a second, but I didn't want to be alone.”

“Ah.” You nodded, unsure of what to say next, or even whether you should say anything at all. Why did you have to be so bad at this?

“I love Saeyoung,” he admitted after a long silence, “but he can get a little much sometimes. Do you know what I mean?”

You laughed cautiously. “Yeah, I think I do. There’s nothing wrong with wanting some time alone. I'm sure he’ll understand.”

Saeran nodded, but was apparently still too shy to meet your eyes. You sat like that for quite some time, just watching the snow flit from side to side beyond the window and the shadows stretch longer as evening approached. There was still a lot left unsaid between you, but for some reason it felt as natural as breathing.

**Christmas, Age 25**

_Ding._ You lifted your head from Saeran’s shoulder and got up reluctantly to answer the door, stretching and yawning as you walked. A quick glance through the peephole revealed Saeyoung’s grinning face, so you shook your head and let him inside.

“Merry Christmas!” he said gleefully, carrying two wrapped boxes and wearing a snow-spotted knit scarf. “I couldn't let the day go by without seeing my two favorite people, right?”

You laughed, holding out your hand for his coat. “Thanks for stopping by. We saved you some dinner just in case you showed up.”

You led him back into the living room, the delicious smell and warmth of cooking ham filling the hallway. Your Christmas tree was small but full; you and Saeran had spent an entire snowy afternoon making homemade ornaments to decorate it.

“Hi, Saeran!” Saeyoung chirped. Saeran gave a little wave and stood up from the couch.

“Nice of you to stop by.” He kissed you on the cheek and accepted Saeyoung’s gift with some surprise. “I thought I told you not to get me anything.”

“Did you _really_ expect me to listen?” Saeyoung said offhandedly. “Besides, you got me something, right?” 

Saeran huffed. “Well, yes, but that doesn't mean…” He rolled his eyes affectionately, trailing off as Saeyoung noticed the Christmas tree and began examining it with shouts of praise. 

“Man, you guys really have it all together, especially considering you've only been together for a year,” he said enviously. “How do you keep this place so _clean_? I don't know what to do now that I can't boss Vanderwood around anymore!” He sighed dramatically and flopped down onto the couch. 

Saeran smiled and walked into the kitchen. “Let me make sure the ham is okay,” he called. You followed him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he peered through the oven door.

“I love you,” you said for the tenth time that day. He turned around, his eyes practically glowing with happiness, and gave you a long, soft kiss, cradling your face in his hands.

“I love you too,” he said once you broke apart. God, you'd never get tired of looking at those beautiful eyes. “I’m so happy we can spend Christmas together. _All_ of us,” he added, glancing towards the living room where Saeyoung still sat on the couch. “None of this would have been possible without your help. You’re really someone special.”

You weren't, not by a long shot. But you were able to make Saeran happy, and perhaps that small fact was enough for you to matter.


End file.
